Sunday, October 30, 2011

The Daddy Cycle

Does a woman’s relationship with her father reflect her relationship that she has with men? According to a majority in the “What’s The News?” group, it does. The father is the first man to have any influence on their daughter but at some point you have to think that every other man affects her decisions as well. I personally grew up with my father being incarcerated for twelve years of my life. When he got out we did not have the best relationship but my first boyfriend was just like him. In and out of jail and a big dog. He influenced me to choose my men better. I knew that I could do better and I did.

A woman who has dealt with having an abusive or dominating father generally seems to grow up to think that that is okay behavior so when their mate does that to them they don’t get any help. They have seen their mother go through it so they don’t see a problem with it at all. On occasion you will find a woman though who grows from that type of experience like Leyena in the group stated that her father was no joke and that she wouldn’t want a man like him dominating her her whole life. These women see that this isn’t right and decide to make a change thereby breaking the cycle.

A woman who has NEVER met her father or doesn’t know who he is generally are left to determine what type of men they will date. They didn’t have a father daughter bond and are often left with a feeling of abandonment and a sense of wanting to feel loved. But as a friend of mine Award said “Be glad the deadbeat wasn’t around your better days are ahead of you.”.A woman who was raised with her father in the home who treated her like a princess. This woman often times won’t settle for any man treating her any less than how her father treats her because she grew up knowing that she was loved and told that she was beautiful so that she won’t fall for it when another man says it to her.

Just because your daddy is the first man in your life to influence you doesn’t mean that he alone is the one who affects your take on men. Sometimes women just have to realize sometimes you do pick the wrong man whether your father was around or not. Its up to you to decide what man is worth your time not your relationship with your dad. Every man will influence you differently be it your first love, your brother, or even your uncle. Its time to break the “daddy effect” and stand on your own two feet. Love for your reasons and your reasons only. Just because one man treats you one way doesn’t mean that the next man will.

Published by: Taquila Thompson