Saturday, March 3, 2012

The Combat Zone: How Many Times Do We Try?



The Combat Zone: How Many Times Do We Try?

The time has come and gone…so many times that what once warmed us has now left us cold…yet we still let things unfold as if growth is in the numbers of how many times we sold ourselves short.

I believe it’s safe to say that a strong relationship can sustain many things. However, if it is strong then breakup after breakup would never occur. The act of staying together through trials shows more strength then splitting up and coming back together time and time again. Multiple states of separation does not increase connections, it simply halts things for a brief time. When you come back together more time is taken to reconnect than it would have taken to stay together and work things out.

When couples split up numerous times, that shows the flaws in the union and the incapability of working things out as partners. I say this because two should always be greater than one logically. Unfortunately, it is a known fact that relating within the confines of a relationship can sometimes be illogical. Many believe in the fallacy that distance makes the heart grow fonder. In retrospect, distance does nothing but show how well you do individually versus in an emotional partnership. The concentration is put into being single rather than being paired with another. Once focuses shift the strength that was built up begins to dwindle each day the bond remains broken.

The connection that two people share in a relationship is vital, so what happens when the link is weakened repeatedly? There is nothing wrong with one or possibly two trial separations. There is a degree of healing in time apart to think. However, when those times perpetuate in to frequent occurrences it develops into a habit. When difficulties surface the first step becomes breaking up. Using a breakup as a means to handle situations that happen in a relationship doesn’t solve any real issues. It halts the problems but the resolution hangs in the wind and more thought is given to what you can do on your own as opposed to what can be solved in working together.

Once breaking up becomes habitual coming back together is challenging. Most of us have heard the saying “I can do bad all by myself.” This essentially turns out to be a true to life statement. If the relationship is constantly going array, common sense sets in. It’s easy to deal with the problems of one person then two. Surviving the woes of this world individually is demanding in itself and many can’t deal with handling the problems of another on top of that. So why bother becomes a typical thought, making getting back together more difficult each time dissention occurs.

It really is a matter of how much an individual can take. Are you able to survive continuous episodes of make-up and break-up? It may be easier to let it go and move on or some crave the effort of holding on…which
one are you?

By Debbie Allen-Smith

*The opinions of this article reflect on the author(s) it was published by & not the "What's The News?" organization as a whole.